It's been a long time since I last update, but please forgive me again for not being able to give a lengthy post.

I went out with Shiang Ning yesterday to have a pre-birthday celebration. So we exchanged birthday presents. I gave her Mac eyeshadow black and she gave me a set of acrylic paints. Female's make-up is the face; Male's make-up is the paper(At least it applies for me)! I really enjoyed her company of shopping with me for two hours at IMM. It has been one whole month alone by myself so it was rather boring, and that is why I'm glad she was willing to do so.

Today was great also. Dad has off today so he brought me and mum out for breakfast, then to East Coast Park. It has really been a long time since I got breeze and ray on my face. We had a jolly time sitting near the beach, then we went to my future school, NYP.

NYP is very spacious; from their walkways to food centres to shops. After passing lockers and notice boards, we went into "KouFu" and had our lunch there. Then we went home again. =( I don't feel like going out neither =(

Thanks for reading this post. I can see a couple of you coming here faithfully to check on my posts.


Hi all! Long time no see again! =) I thought my blog was dead. Actually I've got nothing to type lah... But just want to update to show all of you that my blog is still alive kay!

Recently, I mainly spend my time on facebook and art. These two are rather time-killing, so I took up these two hobbies. In the whole, yeah I am fine. =D Hope to see all of you soon. I promise to mass spam my blog once poly starts so as to give all of you insights into my poly life! =) But for now, really got nothing to update... So sry :(


Hi all!!! It has been a long time since I last update. I admit I'm quite addicted to facebook ok =) But I will occasionally still check my blog for any request regarding my blog. I know my blog is close to dead, but I will try very much possible to update whenever possible.

Feeling loadless nowadays, past memories do indeed visit me again. In such a busy and bustling city like Singapore, have you ever pause and reflect and look back into your pass? Perhaps it's the stress that prevents people from looking back. However, these few days I'm led back to my early childhood.

I can only remember things as of 5years old. When I was a kindergarten kid, I was some sort of ostracized by my classmates because I was sitting amongst girls in my group and the girls don't like boys, where all the boys are grouped together, and the girl in their group benefit 'cos boys don't really care about hating girls at that age. So if you will to see, my K1 life was terribly lonely. I was writing with my righthand and my teachers all complained of my atrocious handwriting.

Until I changed to Milk and Honey Kindergarten when I was K2. The teachers there treated me more like a child. The class consists of lesser children so there was no grouping. So I made friends and I had self-discovery that I'm a left-hander from one of my teachers. My handwriting definitely improved tremendously. I re-learnt A-Z when I was 6years old. As you can see, I was a slow-learner.

Eventually I entered primary school. Not going to give you a grandfather's story but will be picking out some milestones. I didn't like my tuition teachers for specific reasons and I'm not going to post here. My school was an all-boys school. I had friends that took advantaged of my innocence by making me fall into their tricks, but I didn't do it back to them because that is graciousness. I know in my heart too who are they. Yet some of them keep taking it for granted. The more I keep it to myself, the more they want to hurt me. They just want me to look awful in front of the teachers. Lucky the teachers shut an eye. I had only a few exceptionally close friends that I'm still in touch with today. I didn't miss my primary school as much as my secondary school. Perhaps it would be that I don't want to remember somethings that are awful.

When I was in Sunday School I thought I knew what God is all about. Pray, read the bible, fast, be righteous, give tithes. 'Aren't all these the right way to live a Christian life?' I thought to myself. I was so blinded that I realised that I went church to see my friends every Sunday and to be well-liked. I was so foolish to memorise memory verses blindly and take them literally. I like to carry out 'ritual', and it is tiring. It was even tiring when I went to adult service with my parents and when I return, I see all my Sunday-school teachers give me the sour look. I had enough and I left Sunday-school. Enough is enough. I quit. I don't read the bible anymore, and I just go to church to 'see show' and to please my parents. Deep down it was agonizing.

Perhaps some of you have heard of my life-story before, but these are the things that I reflected upon, so do mind bearing with me.

I was really blaming God for all He has done to my life. Got a below expected score and went into Jurongville Sec. I was asking: "God, if you are really so real and so almighty, why despite my prayer, you still did not fufill what I wanted?" I admit I did treat God as a vending machine then.

I eventually started school, and I'm surprised that this time I made so much more friends than before. And God is good to provide me with a friend of the same birthday as me so we can celebrate it together annually. For my Primary school years, I don't remember any memorable birthday surprises in school. I also feel happier, because the people in school do not practise politics in school. There was so much more of trust and freedom. Away from backstabbing and hurts. God has indeed placed me in the right environment. Imagine if I enter those all-boys schools again; I think I wouldn't be the Mark you know now.

Joined 86th coy Boys' Brigade. Got into a cell group and started going to Youth service at EXPO Max Pavillion every Sunday. I didn't know why, but a warm feeling began to bloom in my heart. It was the warmth of the Lord. I didn't know when it started or even remembered the exact time or date, but I can feel the grace and love of God. I can also feel the warmth in my heart.

God gave me a miracle at sec4 to let me see of his presence in hardship. Reference: Archive June 2008. He hadn't give up on me so I didn't give up on me.

But recently my heart began to doubt Him. I expected to enter business/humanities-related courses, but end up in Science-related courses. I promised myself no more to take Science anymore throughout my life, because I don't see that I will excel in it in any way. I shake even when I hold the test-tube. And all memory work when my memory is terrible. I suddenly begin to feel if he knows me inside out or not. I'll be considered idiot if I still think that my maker don't know me inside out. But I feel that way. I feel dumb too. Will a potter not know his clay inside out?

Until two daya ago I finally realised that what I know about myself might be wrong. My dad and me went down to downstair's kopitiam to have coffee drink. Looking at my expression is like reading a book to him. So he began to remind me of his life again. He told me about it before, but somehow I don't see a link of his job to my study.

It is a bit confidential here though I wish to type, so I'll type what I can. Seeing the US economy crash slipping past him confirmed God's perfect plan for his life. He also did not expect to be in what he is working as now, with a salary good enough to feed four. And it's not just recent things that happened, but even before that, things seem to slip past and go, so now he is still working fine at this age. If God has made a path for Dad, so will He make a path for all of us, as long as we ask Him for direction. If He tilts your path it doesn't mean he is thwarting your life; perhaps it is to avoid certain disastrous things that might happen to you.

My doubt is still in midst of dissolving, but I really pray that there will be a promise for my future if I continue to believe in Him.

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