Just chatted with ______. She is still fuming over I-don't-know-whatever-the-reason-is. I appealed guessing the reason why she is angry and all she said to me was that if I knew her well I will know the reason why she is angry. Hello? I am not your boyfriend or spouse. Somethings I will not know well about you unless we become to that extend, close. Somethings you will have to explain to me, even couples do that to each other, ain't it? So will you be more just to me?

We have been friends for two years. And you want our friendship to be over? Can. But don't you regret.


It is Hari Raya Haji today. It is really boring to stay at home without anything to do, except for a reflection report that I have to hand up next week and Living Life devotional and doing mind-maps for Systematic Theology II which is examinable.

Seems like I am doing fine with "pink", as since two days ago I have not been having those experiences. Thanks to "pink", and God for seeing me through. The insuperable mountain seems more surmountable now.

How Thim will be going overseas beginning 30Nov and will not be back till 6Dec. No more meet-ups till next year. Will miss him a lot, and I have many issues still unresolved. I believe the experiences are a result of these unresolved issues, so if I can deal with it ASAP, my state might not be that dire. I wish to start the new year well, and not let it be like the current year.


I have discovered a passage in the Living Life devotional two days ago that evoked my emotions. The following is the short passage that I have read:

The fields were parched and brown from lack of rain, and the crops lay wilting from thirst. People were anxious and irritable as they searched the sky for any sign of relief. Days turned into arid weeks. No rain came.

The ministers of the local churches called for an hour of prayer on the town square the following Saturday. They requested that everyone bring an object of faith for inspiration.

At high noon on the appointed Saturday the townspeople turned out en masse, filling the square with anxious faces and hopeful hearts. The ministers were touched to see the variety of objects clutched in prayerful hands - holy books, crosses, etc.

When the hour ended, as if on magical command, a soft rain began to fall. Cheers swept the crowd as they held their treasured objects high in gratitude and praise. From the middle of the crowd one faith symbol seemed to overshadow all the others: A small nine-year-old child had brought an umbrella.

-Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul, by Laverne W. Hall, edited by Jack Canfield

Ain't that true that all it takes is a simple child-like faith to move the hands of God?


After school today, I met up with Mum to go for lunch together. Initially some of my classmates had wheedled me to go along with them for lunch. But when one decided to back out, the other one also backed out. So alas I decided that I will have lunch with Mum.

After lunch, it was Mum's interview for a new job; in a boutique shop, located at International Plaza, situated in the CBD. She was quite fickle at first; wondering things from whether there will be business for a boutique shop in the CBD to whether she will have to pack out clothes from the store room. I did not include my personal opinions when she questioned me about whether she should go for the interview or otherwise. At last she decided to go for the interview, where I stayed put in Coffee Bean, scanning through some magazines on the rack, though not the renown ones. She was back in less than 10minutes, stating that there was miscommunication between the person who my Mum called and the manager at that shop outlet, so they will ring my Mum after they discuss about the amount of pay.

Then as we were going home by the MRT, a boy. or perhaps a man, in his late teens looked at my attire, where he took quite a long time glancing. I felt funny so I went to look at myself on the mirror of the lift. Then I realised the way I dressed was awkward. A long shirt accompanied with short shorts, looks "obiang"(not very cool) indeed. I never thought of keeping abreast of fashion, but I never expected that my fashion sense is really so dull. It seems like I am not abashed of my poor fashion sense, because how people view me on my outward appearance is not as important as them viewing my innate qualities and talents.


In yesterday's Chinese Service at TC, SM Goh Chok Tong came to visit our church. It was a short one. He only stayed for about 10minutes, and we blessed him before he departed from our midst. Could not make it for SOM AGAIN. I have not attended any SOM classes, including the last lesson. The first week I was down with vomiting and dizziness, the following week it was my cousin's first month celebration(man yue). Seems like I have to wait till the next SOM class on the book of Ecclesiastes.
Then my whole faimly went to watch the match between Slingers and KL Dragon at Singapore Indoor Stadium. Slingers lost by 10points, with a score of 68:78. The referees, I personally feel, are "kayu"; minor roughness of the Slingers are viewed as aggressiveness. A few Slinger supporters up there were critising the referees, saying that they will pay them more money so that they will be bribed, and that 5vs8, 3referees that belonged to the KL Dragon. And they kept pouring vulgarities, which according to my sister, were not exhibiting sportsmanship.
Then in the evening I went to play basketball with my sister. Made a couple of new friends. And the whole basketball court only consist of one girl, that is my sister. She is such a sporty girl.


Coming to the topic of Chemistry: I loathe Chemistry. But there is an approachable lady who aided me in my Chemistry, allowing me to have some, or at least a tinge of interest in Chemistry. To that lady, I would heartily show my appreciation of gratitude to you for your support to me in the time where I was about to give up upon myself, but you gave me the olive leaf of Noah's dove, and there was a glimpse of hope for me at that time. Your help gave me a more valiant attitude towards my study. No wonder you got pregnant, as the Lord blesses those who bless others. God is good. Praise the Lord!


Came out from class today at 1030. It was then followed by a 1hr plus of stagnating in Borders Bookshop. I liked the book which talked about how to provide a boy with his emotional needs. It is indeed very true that the society views boys as the ones who can take the 'hit' whereas girls must not take the 'hit'. This is a myth as boys do have their vulnerablities too, but they tend hide their emotions and pretend to appear strong on the outside. But the book costs $31.90, so after reading it for about 45minutes I decided to put the book down and moved on to the other sections.

Then I came to the science section. There hides my worst fears; organic chemistry dummies, genetics and biochemistry. Despite the intimidation, I approached the books. Pharmaceutical Science began to implant itself in my mind again. The chemistry terms and diagrams did cause my adrenaline to pump to go for a 'flight' response when I first saw it. I had enough of Chemistry and perhaps, Biology, too(more on Chemistry, though)! I will never buy home a book related to Science.

Then at 1300 I had my lunch with my group members, after which we had our discussion on Project X. Peter Soo gave most of the idea, where the rest of the members like me just listened to him. He is very active in providing ideas. I provided my idea but the usage was limited. It poured when it was time to go home, so we walked along the sheltered paths.

The Bukit Timah region is flooded. Flooding occured at Bendemeer the other time.


I reached home today at about 4pm. Had lunch with my Mum at Bugis Junction. The Soup Spoon is an ideal place for people planning to go on the vegetarian route to dieting. All I have to say is that the meal was both scrumptuous and sumptuous. We had a great meal together. Then we went Cold Storage.

The real test began at Cold Storage. But the apprehension that was usually attached vanished. After so many months of struggling over these encounters, I discovered that I grew more in audacity and courage when facing these experiences. I would say I see myself grow through this whole process. However, I wonder how long these experiences would last; a few weeks more, a few months more, or a few years to come? Never did I blame God on what happened to me, neither did I complain of what I am facing. But I waited in silence, seeing if God wants to put me to the test me further. I will never take it to heart if God allows the worsening of my current condition, or if he allows other bad things to happen to me, because I know it is for my good. I don't mind if my world collapse, seriously. I understand that he knows how much I can take, and will not see me into destruction.

God is good; one went, and another came. He did not abandon me as an orphan. Apart from the Holy Spirit, he sent me yet another person. He has been coaching me like a son, though he has only three daughters and no sons. God's plans are impeccable; too flawless to be comprehended by the human mind. But to the former; I had never blamed you nor held any grudge against you. I learnt that you indeed have your limitations, but please tend after your drove of sheep closely, lest they become like the one who has found its way to another shepherd. Please do something before the flock gets dispersed. But to the latter, many thanksgivings I bestow you; despite your limitations you still withdrew time for our fellowship. You never grew weary from your work, your family, and your ministry, for the Lord is your strength; He renewed your wings like that of an eagle.

To George: Don't feel bad that you could not do anything to help me. You have helped me in a lot of ways, especially Faith; I indeed learnt a lot from you. God has sent me someone who will take good care for me, so no worries for me. =) Thanks for your efforts in helping me, I really appreciate it.

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