For the past two days, I am on board a cruise; Star Cruise Virgo. There is really nothing much to help me occupy my time here except browsing through books in the library cabinet and playing the games in the game arcade. I would say the activities that I do on cruise is rather limited and hence, mundane. I could finally not resist the allure of the computer, so I gave in. I have intended to type this new post at home, as the price of surfing the net here is charged by minute. But at least the price is rather reasonable if you don't surf for too long a time.

I was rather disappointed that I could not go out of the cruise to go to Kuala Lumpur yesterday. My parents are still very concern on my well-being even if I go with them. They are worried that my condition will deteriorate again. So initially i thought that it was quite selfish of them to not let me go along with my relatives, but after thinking it through again, it was out of love for me. They do not want me to have a sudden trigger, which could blemish my reputation, since after all my relatives are unaware of what is going on for me. But it is always not safe to keep the skeleton in the cupboard, as finally the cat will be let out of the bag. It is just a matter of time.

Some people just do not understand what I am going through. They commented that it is because I am not mentally tough enough, which is a myth. If I am not mentally tough, I would end up in a rehab centre already. Somethings are really out of my control, but at least I find that it does not affect me emotionally, but it disturbs me. I felt rather perturbed in the beginning when I got it, but gradually the apprehension vanished. I wish that one day it will all be gone, because I really want to be the old Mark.

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