Sunday, September 19, 2010
I sincerely apologize for the missing me.
Something weird happened to me about 3 to 4 days ago. I was still deep in sleep; so deep in sleep in the wee hours of the night(maybe it should be morning). All of a sudden I heard a knock... And my Mum's voice, "Why are you bathing so early in the morning?" It was only then that I really woke up. Opening my eyes, I was flabbergasted to see that I was in front of the shower, and my body wet with the cool shower, and I actually took off ALL my clothes in the shower. In actual fact the cold shower should have woke me up from my sleepwalk, but it did not do so to me. Taking a shower at 2am in the morning does not make sense at all. I mean, who would wake up and take a bath, just to go back to bed again? I would say this is the first incident of sleepwalking throughout my entire life. Sounds like a major milestone. Thank God the window grilles are locked.
Yesterday when I was having supper with my Dad and my Dad only, we came to a topic where I replied him,"When I needed protection, you all did not protect me. When I needed the least protection, you all over-protected me." Then Dad asked me if I am referring to "those cases", I really lost control of myself.
I began to hyper-ventilate out of fury and I felt shots of blood shooting throughout the vessels of my whole body. Then when I was able to cool down after drinking my Teh-O, we went home. I had a shower, had a talk with Dad. He once again meddled with the weak spots of my heart. I REALLY went berserk. As I was seating on the bed, I began flinging my pillow and bolster all around. I can honestly tell you if I was seated on a chair near the table, I would be able to overturn them and toss them across the room.
But I was actually quite intimidated by the fact that I might be demonized; because I could not control my emotions, and my Dad mentioned that I looked quite not like my usual self. Or I would say: I have been suppressing these emotions for so long that the let-go of these agony became so explosive.
Yes, it was mixed feelings. Raging tempest, avengement, disappointment, grief, injustice, indignance; you name it, we've got it.
There are so many eye-witnesses, but none stood up to it. Never mind.
Mark Tan at 1:20 PM
